An Innocent Curiosity
by ilovetvalot
Summary: What happens when Spencer Reid needs advice of a...personal...nature from Erin Strauss? Humor 2-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note: Okay, first, thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate your comments._**

**_Second, we want to offer you a quick rundown of activities and threads that are ongoing at the forum:_**

**_First, we have opened our next challenge to participants. "The Future Fic Challenge" thread is open on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Rules and explanation of the challenge are there as well. In short, choose one character and get assigned a random secondary character to tell a story set in the year 2022. It looks like a lot of fun._**

**_We've also introduced a "Help Wanted" thread to the forum for authors that are looking for assistance with various writing complications that come up. Perhaps you want someone to bounce ideas with, or maybe you need a beta….this is the place to post an ad for what you are looking for. We've also reopened the "Chat Chat Among the Authors" thread to discuss spoilers or ask questions. The "Getting to Know YOU…Tell us about yourself" thread is open. Swing by there to introduce yourself whether you are a reader or an author. We'd love to meet you._**

**_And lastly don't forget our "Pay It forward Review Incentive Program". From now until the end of April, anyone that reviews a Hotch related story is eligible to win an gift card. Details found on thread at forum._**

**_This week's author of the week is the talented klcm. Please swing by that thread to ask questions about their writing and/or stories. In addition, there are several other threads open for comment. We hope to see each of you there._**

* * *

**An Innocent Curiosity**

**Chapter One**

At first glance, he appeared to be innocently reading in the deserted bullpen - not an unusual activity for Dr. Spencer Reid. If there was one thing she remembered about her youngest team member, it was his voracious appetite for knowledge.

His mind was one of his most attractive qualities. Even she was not so cold that she couldn't admit that, albeit silently. It was a well known fact that most agents that stood beneath the Bureau umbrella were in awe of the young man's intellect; she'd had to stand guard against more than one section chief looking to poach her genius.

And he was indeed her genius. While Jason Gideon may have been responsible for recognizing and fostering the talent that was Spencer Reid, she had quietly but ruthlessly ensured that any possible barrier to the good doctor's employment had been destroyed during his slip into the abyss a few years earlier.

No one knew the danger of that fall better than she did, after all. Twenty eight days had bought her a new lease on life…much like the one she had once provided for the Dr. Reid, after all.

But, as she leaned against the metal railing staring at his bent head, her eyes narrowed as a flush darkened his cheeks. Whatever he was reading, it was certainly stimulating him...whether in anger or something else, she wasn't certain.

Her curiosity was piqued and she made her way down the steps with light footsteps. Approaching his desk on silent feet, she watched as his pink tongue darted out to lick his dry cheeks as he flipped the page of whatever book it was he perused.

"Dr. Reid?" Erin called softly. "You're here late."

"M-ma'am," Reid greeted, quickly closing the tomb in front of him as he turned toward her, his eyes growing accustomed to her sudden presence.

"Catching up on some reading?" Erin asked as the red stain on Reid's face deepened.

"I...ahhh, yes, ma'am," Reid stuttered as he nodded. "Something like that."

Intrigued now, Erin attempted to spy the title of the book as she looked around the doctor's body. "Mind if I ask what had you so engrossed?"

"Actually, Director, it's a bit embarrassing," Reid muttered, damning himself for not leaving an hour ago and reading his newest book in the privacy of his own home. Ever since Director Strauss had returned to the Bureau, he had been well aware of her forays into the various divisions in the late night hours. But apparently his usually well-ordered mind had conveniently forgotten that salient fact tonight.

"Embarrassing?" Erin repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yes," Reid murmured, shuffling on his feet, his well-worn loafers sliding easily against the polished linoleum. "It shouldn't be. But, in today's society, my curiosity on this particular subject isn't exactly embraced."

"And that curiosity regards?" Erin prodded, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Well, I was reading an article on the female orgasm...and the myths surrounding it," Reid explained. "I've actually been contacted by Georgetown to lead a seminar in human sexuality and I thought this would make an interesting topic."

Jaw dropping in spite of her best efforts to contain her shock, Erin blinked. "I see," she choked. Clearing her throat as she felt color climbing into her own cheeks, she forced herself to smile tightly. "Well, being invited to guest lecture at Georgetown is certainly nothing to be ashamed about. I'm sure you'll provide some excellent insight into the..."

"Female orgasm," Reid supplied professionally, bobbing his head. His eyes widened for a moment as he studied the woman before him. "Actually, ma'am, if you have a moment, I could use a woman's opinion."

"On orgasms?" Erin asked faintly. Oh God, why had she allowed her curiosity to get the better of her again? Why hadn't she scheduled her AA meeting for the evening instead of the morning today?

"Exactly, ma'am," Reid said, gesturing toward the seat beside his desk. "Please sit. I'll try not to take too long."

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Erin muttered as she bent to sit in the wooden chair beside Reid's desk. Sighing heavily, she forced herself to look at her subordinate. "How may I help you, Dr. Reid?"

"Well, currently, I'm doing research as I mentioned into the myth and mystery regarding the female orgasm," he explained eagerly, leaning forward and resting his elbow on the desk. "And since I'm a male, I'm running into a few roadblocks as you can imagine."

Clearing her throat, Erin shifted uncomfortably under the excited intensity of his stare. "I can imagine," she mumbled.

"Yes, well, my first issue that I'm finding inconclusive data regarding is how long the female orgasm lasts. My best research indicates that the average female experiences about eighteen seconds of pleasure. Does this data sound accurate to you? In your personal experience, is the sensation really that short-lived?" he asked intently, reaching for a nearby pad and pencil.

Swallowing hard as she met Reid's curious eyes, Erin felt her stomach sink. "I...you...that sounds accurate."

"I ask because studies indicate that, on average, the male's orgasm is four seconds longer. I find this to be a puzzle, myself."

"One of God's little jokes," Erin returned, her smile becoming strained as she fought against the rising visions in her mind.

"So much muss and fuss for a few brief seconds of abandon," Reid noted, wrinkling his nose as he consulted his notes. "Also, honestly, trying to map the G-spot on the female form would get even the most seasoned of travelers lost, don't you think?" he said, holding up his self-made diagram. "Honestly, stats indicate that 67% of women polled admit to not being able to find their own G-spot. If this is, indeed, the case, how does a woman expect her partner to locate the region?"

"Experimentation?" Strauss offered weakly, her eyes darting around the bullpen, assuring herself that no stray ears were listening to what was rapidly diverging into a wildly inappropriate conversation. Or what would have been one if she'd been talking to anyone other than Spencer Reid.

"Do you know where your G-spot is located, ma'am?" Reid asked interestedly, tilting his head as he stared at her intently.

"I'm sorry?" Erin balked, jaw dropping.

"Your G-spot, Director...the most highly erogenous zone on the female..."

"I know what it is, Doctor," Erin groaned, heat flooding her face as she valiantly resisted the urge to fan her fingers in front of her flaming skin. "There's no need to define it for me. And yes, I'm aware of its location." It might be a barren, too long ignored wasteland, but she knew she had it, she thought grimly.

"Ah, good!" Reid declared happily, beaming at her. "Your input on my next few questions will be invaluable then."

And as Spencer Reid nodded avidly, Erin Strauss couldn't help but wonder if she had truly, finally lost her mind for even agreeing to participate in this wild conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Okay, first, thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate your comments._

_Second, we want to offer you a quick rundown of activities and threads that are ongoing at the forum:_

_First, we have opened our next challenge to participants. "The Future Fic Challenge" thread is open on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Rules and explanation of the challenge are there as well. In short, choose one character and get assigned a random secondary character to tell a story set in the year 2022. It looks like a lot of fun._

_We've also introduced a "Help Wanted" thread to the forum for authors that are looking for assistance with various writing complications that come up. Perhaps you want someone to bounce ideas with, or maybe you need a beta….this is the place to post an ad for what you are looking for. We've also reopened the "Chat Chat Among the Authors" thread to discuss spoilers or ask questions. The "Getting to Know YOU…Tell us about yourself" thread is open. Swing by there to introduce yourself whether you are a reader or an author. We'd love to meet you._

_And lastly don't forget our "Pay It forward Review Incentive Program". From now until the end of April, anyone that reviews a Hotch related story is eligible to win an gift card. Details found on thread at forum._

_This week's author of the week is the talented klcm. Please swing by that thread to ask questions about their writing and/or stories. In addition, there are several other threads open for comment. We hope to see each of you there._

* * *

**An Innocent Curiosity**

**Chapter Two**

"You have more questions?" Erin asked, her voice strangled as her hands contracted into fists, her nails burying in her palms.

"Yes, of course. My research indicates that a woman needs about 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation or G-Spot massage to exact a successful orgasm. Does that figure seem reasonable to you?"

"If I'm lucky," Strauss murmured forlornly, catching herself and pursing her lips tightly. "That's only accurate information if the woman's husband is willing to invest that much time in the activity."

"Excellent point." Reid gaped with widened eyes, furiously scribbling a note on his pad. "I would venture to say I can draw a direct correlation between a female orgasm and the efforts put forward by her sex partner."

"Good luck with that, Doctor," Erin said grimly, as she moved to rise from her seat, desperate to escape before she said something to embarrass herself.

"Just a couple of more questions, Director," Reid pled, his dark eyes beseeching her for assistance. "I tried to ask my colleagues these questions, but Garcia couldn't stop giggling, Emily threatened to shoot me and JJ refused to discuss any aspect of sex with someone she considered a brother. They really were the definition of uncooperative. You are my last hope, ma'am."

Ahhh, crap, Erin mentally cringed. He had the puppy dog eyes down to an art form. He really did. And she'd always been a sucker for a sensitive man. Especially one that genuinely wanted her help. Closing her eyes briefly, she released a long breath. "All right, Dr. Reid. But if my name appears in any of your research notes or case studies, I will not hesitate to have you reassigned to the Alaskan field office for the duration of your career. Do we understand each other?"

"Entirely, ma'am," Reid agreed instantly, flipping a page in his notebook and poising his pencil above the blank page. "Now, do you achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration or solely with clitoral stimulation?"

Gasping as his question resonated through her body, jarring her heart into a supersonic rhythm that threatened to level her, Strauss felt beads of sweat form on her forehead.

"Ma'am?" Reid queried, tilting his head to look at the flustered woman, "Would you like me to repeat the question?"

"I'm begging you," Erin replied, shaking her head almost frantically, "_Don't._ I heard you quite clearly the first time."

"Did you understand the question? Because I can clarify if you like, you see..."

"No!" Erin squeaked, waving a hand wildly in the air between them. "That isn't necessary either. I generally have my orgasms with a little assistance, Doctor."

"Oh! Of the mechanical variety?" he asked eagerly, flipping the page of his notebook backwards and glancing down at the notes he had recorded earlier. "Is it true that those releases are more powerful that those produced during garden variety sex? My studies show..."

Lifting a hand to cover her eyes, Erin struggled to draw breath. How in the hell had she allowed herself to become embroiled in a discussion regarding the frequency and method behind having orgasms? How? "I don't know," she mumbled. "I guess so."

"You have employed more traditional methods, however, correct? Manual stimulation and so on?" Reid asked, his voice clinical as his pencil scratched against the page.

"Doctor, I am fifty years old," Strauss bit out, squaring her shoulders as she attempted to regain just one ounce of control. "Believe me, I've tried all the methods at least once."

"Excellent," Reid said approvingly, almost as if he was congratulating a fellow scholar on a successful research project. "Most excellent."

"Not really," Erin grumbled, pressing her legs together as she wrung her hands nervously. "Anything else?"

"Just a few things." Reid held up two fingers as he smiled. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Oh, I think you crossed the professional boundary line a few miles back, Dr. Reid. Continue," Erin ordered tersely, blowing out a deep breath.

"Wonderful," Reid enthused, tapping his pencil against the notepad. "All right, you've of course heard the woman's stereotypical excuse to avoid intercourse, I assume. You know, "Sorry, dear. I've got a headache."" Reid stated, using air quotes.

Raising a brow, Erin nodded. "Used it a few times over the years myself."

"Ah!" Reid enthused, holding up a finger. "But, have you ever tried to use an orgasm as headache _relief_, Director? It's been medically proven that the release of endorphins during the female peak can help remedy such common maladies as the generic headache. It would be interesting to know if, in fact, this has any basis with a subject I've spoken with."

Pressing her lips together, Erin flushed guiltily. Truthfully, her vibrator saw a spike in usage when she suffered from stress headaches, but did her colleague and subordinate really need to be privy to all the private little details of her life?

"Ma'am?" Reid queried at her hesitancy, wondering if he had lost her cooperation.

Nodding slowly, Erin replied, "The theory has basis based on my experience."

"Really?" Reid breathed, his mind happily noting this obvious endorsement of his hypothesis.

"Yes," Erin groaned, rubbing her hand against her now aching forehead. "Are we done yet?" she asked plaintively.

"Just one more interesting fact I'd like your input on, Director," Reid said quickly. "Especially since I know you fall into this demographic."

"Fifty and fabulous?" Erin quipped dryly.

"No." Reid frowned, woefully unaware of the woman's witticism. "Educated and horny."

Choking on her laughter, Erin's lips twitched. "Touche, Dr. Reid. Ask away."

"Well, you see, a recent study conducted indicated that women with Ph.D's were in effect double as likely to indulge in a one night stand than those that had only obtained a Bachelor's degree. I was wondering if you see any reason for this phenomena."

Cocking her head, Erin considered the question. "Well, traditionally any woman that's chosen to spend an inordinate amount of her time furthering her education in whatever field she's chosen is considered very goal oriented and driven. Devoting time to an ongoing relationship can be...difficult. That might explain the statistic," she explained as she shrugged stiffly. Watching as Reid opened his mouth, Erin held up a hand. "Yes, Doctor, my personal experience lends credence to the study."

"So, you have..."

"Indulged in a few ill-advised encounters in my youth," Erin sighed heavily, leaning back in her chair. "And a couple more in my maturity," she muttered.

Reid grinned, scribbling away. "Very interesting."

"So glad my personal experiences can provide you a window into the female orgasm," Erin replied tightly. "May I go now?"

"Of course." Reid nodded happily. "This has been most enlightening. Thank you, Director Strauss."

"I'd love to say, anytime, Doctor, but I think you'll understand if I don't," Erin replied as she smiled slightly, rising and straightening her jacket. "And, Dr. Reid, this conversation? Never happened."

Reid grinned. "What conversation?"

"Very good," Strauss countered as she smiled tightly, quickly vacating the bullpen. Making it to her office in record time, she closed her door and leaned heavily against it. Leaning her head against the wood, she released a shaky breath.

She definitely had an orgasm scheduled in her immediate future...and she had a feeling it would occur with very little help from her vibrator.

No, she thought suddenly as she straightened her shoulders. Her fantasies about one genius doctor ought to do the trick.

Finis


End file.
